I can’t believe that it is already Wednesday AND Christmas is less than a week away! I swear it feels like it was just Thanksgiving. If you are still on the hunt for some last minute gifts, check out my holiday gift guide!
Anyway, let’s get on to the topic of today: heartbreak. So, I’m going to test out this new story time segment and I’ll decide whether or not I want to continue doing them. Let’s get in to it…
I met my first official boyfriend when I was in 14 and we dated on and off all the way up until I was 19. We were both young, immature, and still learning who we were throughout the entire relationship. When you start dating someone so young, you think that you are going to be with that person forever and sometimes that happens, but it most definitely did not happen for me.
The two of us did a lot of hurtful and spiteful things to each other and the relationship became increasingly toxic over the years. The only thing that was keeping us together was the comfort that we shared from practically growing up together. But by the end of our relationship, we were two completely different people and it wasn’t the same anymore.
With that being said, by the end of the relationship the split was fairly mutual and it was 100% necessary, but throughout the entire relationship I dealt with a lot of heartbreak and I learned a lot about myself and how to heal myself, so I want to share that with the world in hopes that I can help a girl or boy that is going through a tough time.
Learn to be okay alone.
If you are an extroverted introvert like me, then being alone is something that is needed after a long day of socializing, but that’s not what I mean here. Sometimes when we get into relationships, we become entirely dependent on the other person. We depend on them to make us happy, make us feel loved, and make us feel whole. When you break up, it feels as though your whole world comes crashing down. What will you do on Friday night? Who will you sit with at lunch? Who will you text? You start thinking about every little interaction that you and partner would have throughout the day and realize that that won’t happen anymore. The important thing during this time of heartbreak is to learn to be okay by yourself. Take yourself to the movies, or out to dinner. Treat yourself like the queen (or king) that you are and remember that when a heart breaks it doesn’t heal overnight.
Learn to cherish your friendships.
This one I almost learned too late during my relationship, but luckily for me I had people that supported me throughout the ups and downs of this crazy roller coaster ride. During my relationship, I did exactly what people will tell you not to do, which is I engulfed myself in that relationship and I practically lost who I was. I became so enamored in my boyfriend, that my friends took the back burner. I guess this tip can kind of be applied to the relationship your currently in too. Make sure to cherish the friendships that you have, because at the end of the day those girls/boys will be the people who pick you back up and help you heal. If I didn’t have friends during the bouts of heartbreak that I experienced, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it.
Learn from your mistakes and make every relationship a lesson.
I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times, but every relationship teaches you a lesson and that couldn’t be more true. In every relationship or friendship that you have, you learn about what you want and what you don’t want. After my first relationship, I felt as though I learned so much in those couple years. I learned what I deserved and I realized that I wouldn’t settle for anything less. There is no point wasting your time with someone who doesn’t see your worth. Don’t feel like you’re being too harsh or too high maintenance if the next person you meet doesn’t tick off each box that you have set, because you will find someone that does and when you do it will be everything you were hoping for and more!
Learn to accept the heartbreak and make it a positive experience.
I know this can be super challenging, but it is completely necessary in order to appreciate the lessons that this heartbreak taught you. I’m a glass half full kind of girl and even this was hard for me. I’m not saying that this needs to happen immediately, but it just needs to happen. Period. Take a week, take a month, take a year. Take however long you need to listen to sad music and cry, but once you make the decision to move on, stick to it. Once you make that decision, you can start to assess the relationship and all of the lessons (good or bad) that it taught you and then apply them to relationships to come.
Learn to focus on bettering yourself and reaching your goals.
When you suffer from a heartbreak, it can help clarify things that you want and things that make you happy. For instance, some people find a new love for the gym when they experience a heartbreak and that makes them happy and fulfilled. Find that thing that drives you and motivates you and give it your all. When you are fresh out of a heartbreak, that is the most opportune time to focus on yourself and focus on bettering yourself. Get fit, start a business, write a book, start a blog, do whatever it is that you have been wanting to do. When you put all of your time and effort into a project or a goal you forget all about the boy or girl who hurt you and you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, which is most important!
Phew! We made it to the end and I don’t know about you, but I am feeling great. Although the relationship that I’m referring to throughout this post has been over for years, the hurtful actions that happened to me are still with me to this day and it’s not always the easiest thing to revisit, but I am still learning valuable lessons from that relationship.
After your heart heals and you are feeling whole again, I want you to still appreciate the relationship that you had and still be grateful for the memories that you shared with that person, because they helped you become the person you are today. That person, who may have cheated on you or caused you sleepless nights and tear stained pillows, helped you become the strong and independent person that you are today and there is something to be said for that. Although, I suffered heartbreak in the past, I don’t regret any of the relationships that I went through because they landed me exactly where I am today.
If you liked this kind of ‘story time’ segment, give this post a ‘like.’ Comment below if there are any other lessons or tips that you learned when going through a breakup!